Stuff I Used to Say

Stuff I Used to Say

"Never have a lifetime cap on adventure."

If there is a brand to be used, this would be my dad’s. My dad has done all the things. He’s still doing them, there’s no telling what he’s up to today. My dad has hunted in Africa, fished in Argentina, had food poisoning in the French Riviera, and negotiated oil contracts in the bowels of winter in Kazakhstan. Before that, he was a motorcycle mechanic-geology student by day, a fireman by night, and daddy the rest of the time. And my dad would tell you never to have a lifetime cap on adventure.

When our close friend, got his “deer of a lifetime,” I quickly corrected him. “You are far too young for that deer to be the tippy-top.” Perhaps, this is what brought me to this post. My husband, Justin, and I, along with our two youngest sons, Sam and Charlie, have lived on the island of Oahu for a few months now. We are on an adventure daily.

Please don’t be confused, I wasn’t raised in a mansion with servants.

I didn’t cut my teeth on gold-embossed crib bars. My teeth were cut on wanderlust. I was raised in a home where nature and life were embraced and celebrated. And the more obscure and robust the challenge, the greater the adventure would be.

Fascinating, I lived in the desert in West Texas when I began to write. Like most things in Texas, the storm came out of nowhere without warning. And I wrote in the same fashion. A tornado is formed when the climate is ripe for a rumble. Seven or so years ago, I found my voice, and my voice met with the phenomenon of social media. A perfect storm.

However, after the storm, there was the opportunity to clear the rubble and see what was left standing. I didn’t have a crash-and-burn on the cover of the Enquirer crisis. You probably have never even heard of me. However, I wrote my way out of a life of strife, heartbreak, terror, and brokenness, and I now live in joy and freedom - in Hawaii.

If I am, to be honest, which you’ll find I am, I knew I would live here long before I believed I would.

If you had to read that twice, good. Perhaps this means you are engaged? Firing on all cylinders, wondering how to believe in an idea, wish, or daydream when life is so real and so stinking hard? I get it. And I know I sound fancy. A published author, an artist - educated, well fed, married to a Magnum P.I. look alike? Less the crime-solving and Ferrari, of course. I am the girl who daydreamed of riding shotgun with Tom Selleck on the Pali Highway.

I do cruise the Pali in a sensible Mazda Crossover with Justin Amerine, the love of my life, keeper of my heart, and my best friend. Which is even better than I could have hoped for. And I love to share my stories - but I want to share them for the greater good. That’s the hard part of being a writer, for me, anyway. Everything else about writing is fun. The hard part is not knowing how my words might impact you, the reader. And while I am quick-witted and somewhat sharp-tongued, to my core, I want and seek only love.

Ask, seek, find.

I did ask, but I asked on paper. I wrote in prayer journals for years. In the years before I magically became an author, I wrote my grievances out in prayer-like form in beautifully decorated journals. Nothing was ever solved on those pages, just the loops and curls of my pen, lamenting earth, wishing it was heaven. And then, I was ”forced” into blogging. I wrote from the depths of my authentic self, which was fantastic. Even more fantastic was the feedback.

A chorus of affirmations in ”likes” and comment praises. I stopped journaling when I started blogging. And my posts resonated with so many women, I felt like I had a gaggle of girlfriends for the first time in my life. Alas, true friendship - unconditional love - is not always possible in relationships built on the metaphorical back of a perfect Christian author. I feel I know many of my readers. But, while some of those relationships have been fruitful, many turned sour upon finding out - I am a real girl. 

For almost two years, I have written almost exclusively for myself. What was downloaded to me, what I learned about myself, continues to be translated into books and studies. Whether you go to them or not is not mine to barter. But if I could offer you anything - it would be a quick summary of what happened to me when I wrote a book. They became vibrational prayerful contracts, and I learned from them because of my physical investment in them.

Stolen Jesus: there is no but in a perfect “I love you.” Grace upon grace is mine.

Sacred Ground: my children are wholly a part of me and wholly apart from me. I am one with the Universe, as are each of them.

Well, Girl: we are not bodies seeking god. We are perfect spirits, one with God. That perfect spirit knows what the body needs. Live to hear it, and you will never go hungry again.

Rest, Girl: What if Wow! Change your mind, change everything.

90 Days Stress-Free: Renovating the House that Worry Built: (releasing 6/13/23) I am an artist. My life is my creation. I must constantly ask myself: am I thinking? Creating? Or receiving? Those quality questions will always serve me.

Five Minutes on Charles Street: (my first fiction novel) No great story can go uncreated. The idea is pure energy. And I am its conduit. My second and third novels are complete and In Lieu of Eating is slated to launch in the fall.

The Digital Peace Pact: There are only two choices dictating any behavior, love or fear. When the mind is clear - when it recognizes the choice; my home is scream free. The internet is simply a tool to be used to communicate and expand our resources.  It is not a weapon.  Social Media, (yes, even zoom) is an ineffective energy to rule, discipline, or define us.

Can you imagine what you might meet with when you write and journal FOR YOURSELF. And, of course, I want my books to be read as an author. But as a human, a woman? I want humanity to wake up, grounded firmly in the power of who each of us is, who and what we can be.  

Anything is possible.  

That said, I have removed a lot of content from my site. A lot. As I said, I only began this journey as a writer seven years ago. And maybe some of the stuff I used to say was important, but I would rather say those things again now than continue to be questioned about who I was then. 

My testimony is simple, but it won't ever look just like yours.  

You can be fully at peace, continually stunned by what Creation seeks to delight you with, best friends with Jesus, live your dreams, support and love who you love and support, and truly live.

Social media, the internet, and 24/7 news, when not used in proper, precise order, are a detriment to our minds, the home of our divine spirit. However, once we take back that power, speak gratitude, scroll cognitively, and monitor/acknowledge emotions and responses, we can equip ourselves and our families to thrive in this hyper cyber existence.

There is no cap on the greatness of our abilities or the abundance that blooms from our gifts. Our children are as unique and fantastic as we believe they are. And there is no greater power than truly believing in that totality - which is love. It has no cap. No beginning, no end.

This brings me to the “Write of a Lifetime” category posts I will be sharing here. They will be more like letters from Hawaii than the writing you will find in my books. When I decided to let go of everything , which I wrote about here, that included much of my written work. I didn’t want to continue looking back and trying to explain myself to the internet. And the idea of every new post being its own new revelation, with fresh, adventurous Hawaiian joy, delights me.

I imagine they will be like letters to you, just as we would speak if you were sitting on my lanai. If there was a post that was significant to you and you do not see it under the Stuff I Used to Say category, you can email me at

I’m so glad you stopped by. These days I’m still somewhat sporadic on social media. But you can subscribe to my email and stay in touch! Love, light, and Jesus be all over you! Love, J

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