Dear Netflix, Stop Asking Me…

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying…

Dear Netflix,

I originally was going to post an open letter to you about how much I hate when you stop my show and ask me, “Are you still watching this?” To be honest, I found it condescending.  I am an adult.  I’ll decide when I have mindlessly watched Parks & Rec or Gilmore Girls for long enough.  I don’t need you to ask me, “Are you really still sitting there?  Are you trapped under something?  You know you have Cheetos in your hair?  Why don’t you get up and walk around? Maybe shower? Some deodorant? Get out of your pajamas?  See if the kids are okay???”

I realize this might not be your intended tone, but it feels that way. It feels like you are judging me.  I don’t need this from you.  I pay $12.00 a month for mindless, commercial free t.v. watching.  Basically, you work for me. So, when I started this series, that was one of my topics: “Dear Netflix, stop asking me if I am still watching…”  But, now I must change topics because I can no longer balk at this built in Netflix feature.

You see, dearest Netflix, this feature saved my life this week.  The babies were asleep and the bigs were at school.  I flopped onto the couch to work on book edits and 90 minutes later this message came up on the screen,  “Are you still watching this?”
Dazed and confused I looked at my phone and was able to pull myself from a heavy trance.  I had lost an hour and a half of my day –

Watching Thomas  the Train.

Honestly, if not for your condescending warning, I feel certain I would have started drooling and been unable to recover thousands of dollars worth of advanced academic learning.  So, I applaud you and I encourage you: KEEP ASKING.  You are a marvelous first-world empire.  I hold you in the highest esteem. I apologize for any snarkiness. You obviously understand the gravity of mindless television watching.  There has to be a voice of reason in the world of instant downloads.  Bravo Netflix, Bravo.

Love, Jami

You might also like: An Open Letter to the Makers of Toddler Television: We are still in here….

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