Dear Mean Girl, 4

Dear Mean Girl: I Know You Quite Well

Dear Mean Girl: I Know You Quite Well

A few weeks ago we sent our youngest daughter, Sophie to public high school.

The fact was, as I watched her make my girl way into the school every bad memory from adolescence flooded my mind.

Notably, it was a whirlwind of fluorescent, aqua-net, designer imposter perfume, bonnie-bell, paisley, pearls, press on nails, Tears for Fears, Rob Lowe, Michael Jackson, leg-warmers, like a virgin, poms-poms and Taco Bell.

Then there were waves of regret – starting with Taco Bell.

Ending with the meanest girl I ever met.

She was hateful.

Also, she was a liar.

Truly, she was cruel.

She spoke to me with the vilest verbiage I have ever heard.

If I could see her now and tell her how much she hurt me – I think I would instead hug her and tell her… I was wrong about her in every aspect.

For I know now she was hateful, lying, cruel and nasty because she didn’t know the truth of who she was in Jesus Christ.




[clickToTweet tweet=”Give yourself a #royal title” quote=”Give yourself a #royal title”]

The things I hated about her were unseen by the Father.

He saw only the good.  When he looked at her, a girl who accepted Jesus as her Savior when she was eleven, He saw the innocence of the perfected sacrificial lamb.

He was never hateful.

And He never lies.

He is never cruel.

And when He speaks it’s sweeter than honey and radiates the soothing lullaby of forgiven.

We all say it; “If I knew then what I know now…”


The things I would say to the nasty wench…  I would walk right up to her and look her square in the eye and say: “JAMI JO MCKELVIE, stop it! Stop letting the enemy rule your mind with condemnation, fear, self-hate, and ugly words! You are the daughter of the Most High! You walk in His favor and NOTHING you do or do not do can separate you from his GRACE and chivalrous love.”

Yes, I was the meanest girl you would ever come to know.

I was hateful.

And I lied.

I was cruel.

But I was only ever this ugly to one person… me.

The things I said, the stuff I believed… I could bring a girl to her knees in shame and condemnation.




And the list goes on, and I know the truth now and I am finally free.

But… but for the Blood, which worked, I am free from the self-loathing I allowed for decades.  And as I watched Sophie walk into that huge building out from under my constant care I didn’t worry about the bullies she might encounter in the halls.

I am most concerned with the one in the mirror.

The one the enemy encourages to taunt, no to brutalize our baby girl.

And the note in her lunch box will read: “Sophia Rose Amerine, stop it! Stop letting the enemy rule your mind with condemnation, fear, self-hate, and ugly words! You are the daughter of the most high! You walk in His favor and NOTHING you do or do not do can separate you from his GRACE and chivalrous love.”

Mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, stop the mean girl.

Stop her dead in her tracks.

You are not defined by your past, your mistakes, folly, virginity, pant size, Taco Bell intake, or anyone (two, three, seven-hundred) act that haunts you.

You are seen as blameless.




You walk in the favor of the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you are alone at a table without a friend to be found, He is there with you.  He will not leave or forsake you.  Truly, He did not come to condemn you, but to dwell within you as Holy.  His laws are written on your heart. And while you may make mistakes, you were made for more.

Salvation in Hebrew means deliverance, rescue, salvation, safety.  And you can’t be kind of saved.  If you are drowning and I throw you a life vest you still have to tread water, if you are pulled to shore – you have been SAVED.


Past tense.

The work is done.

Stop the madness of the mean girl.

In fact, she is not allowed to have brain space and she most certainly isn’t allowed to entertain guests.  Most definitely, cast the enemy back to hell and say it with me now: I walk in the favor of my Lord Jesus Christ.

And I can’t go back and confront the mean girl I knew, but I have met with her since.  She got much worse and she loves to mock the number on my scale, the way I parent, write, speak, and live.  She laughs when I cry and humiliates me when I mess up, alas she is quite nasty.

However, she no longer defines me.  I am quick to call her “wicked.”

For I know my identity in Jesus Christ.

As a matter of fact, now I know the Truth and I have been set free as;




I walk in the favor of the Lord Jesus Christ… and I am starting a clique.  And all the girls are invited to sit at my table.  Feast with me at the banquet of Truth.  He sits at the head, where all are welcome.




Glory to God… the mean girl is dead.

Galatians 1:3-4 (AMP) Grace and spiritual blessings to you and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, the Messiah, who gave Himself up for our sins to save and sanctify us in order to rescue and deliver us from this present wicked age… in accordance with the will and purpose and plan of God the Father.

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

You might also like Grace in Chains

originally published on 1/14/17

Thank you, Natalie Jones, for the use of your fantastic pictures!  #muddybootco

You can find Natalie’s work at muddybootco on Instagram!

Dear Natalie, You are amazing…


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  1. June on January 14, 2017 at 8:33 am

    As soon as I read this I thought of my 4 girls- 2 in college, 1 in high school and 1 soon to be my DIL. “This is beautiful, I know my girls know the truth, , but what a great reminder. I am going to share it with them ASAP”. But then it hit me…. This. Is. For. Me.
    I still hear that “mean” girl in my head. Thank you for the truth. I will read and reread and Let. It. Sink. In.
    Thank you Jesus, that you love me in all my mess❤

    • jami_amerine on January 14, 2017 at 8:34 am


  2. Candy on January 14, 2017 at 8:52 am

    Beautiful. Stunning. True. Man we could talk.

    • jami_amerine on January 14, 2017 at 8:54 am


  3. Glenna MccKelvie on January 14, 2017 at 8:57 am

    Oh, Jami — if I knew then what I know now.. I read the other
    day that when we criticize ourselves we are just as stressed out
    as if someone else were doing it to us! Love! ❤️❤️❤️

  4. Jille on January 14, 2017 at 8:57 am

    I am a mental health therapist who treats SO many wonderful people who are buried in negative self talk. It is a joy to see people begin being as kind to themselves as they are to everyone as around them. Thank you for sharing your experience.

  5. Alicia on January 14, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Jamie, j don’t know you personally, but was “introduced” by a mutual friend. I typically don’t take the time to read posts, but for some reason did this one. So much truth that I needed to hear and acknowledge, unfortunately! Thank you for sharing and thanks for staring the mean girl down so you could so eloquently get this penned! Much love!
    Ps My floors are very sticky, too.

    • jami_amerine on January 14, 2017 at 9:02 am

      #solidarity my friend… love, Jami

  6. Rebecca on January 15, 2017 at 4:23 am

    nailed it!

  7. Kathleen Bates on January 15, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    I had so much self loathing until I met Jesus and felt His love for me. I know I am covered in His precious blood and made new and beautiful and worthy.

    • jami_amerine on January 15, 2017 at 12:59 pm


  8. Elaine on January 15, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Love this one Jami! Didn’t see that twist coming–brilliant. What grieves me tremendously is when some churches insist on continuing the lie that we are undeserving and unworthy. My 15 year old daughter told me that a high school boy in her youth group started off his prayer this week saying, “we are terrible, we are awful but thank You God that you saved…” Why can’t people get past the cross? I see this false humility as equally damaging.

    • jami_amerine on January 15, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      Truth. I won’t go into that bondage.

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    The self-loathing can be devastating at times…no matter how much you do, or don’t do, it doesn’t seem like enough. So happy to turn this over to Jesus and find healing. Thank you for your ‘letter.’ It is beautiful and true for all of us.

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