Stuff I Wish You'd Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You 1

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You

I guess this isn’t really a “Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying…” and more “stuff you gotta stop believing.”

Since before the dawn of the Saturday Night Live Church Lady, probably since the very first church lady sat her pious polyester covered butt down on an oak pew, humankind has been jacking up Jesus for the rest of us.  Her prim judgmental lips spoke volumes, either by actively speaking something stupid or telepathically leading us to believe we were less than. Unfortunately, she is probably not reading this. From way up on her high horse she wouldn’t listen anyway, or share her caramel apple strudel recipe.


Her victims are people like myself, who assumed she knew something or Someone higher up than I could ever achieve that granted her the authority to be a colossal jerk and that it was somehow ordained by her holier than though attitude.

Yesterday I posted on chronic illness, a commentator said that one such church lady, an apparently, “anointed” parishioner told the reader that she had been encouraged by God to “repent on your behalf for your terrible attitude.”

I woke my kids up laughing.  Of all the stupid things I have heard, this is award winning. Luckily the reader acknowledged it as such.  It isn’t even passive aggressive, it is just wicked aggressive, and it certainly isn’t from God.

People who say stuff like this… they are just maddening.


Yes, I know, you know that. But we aren’t living out our inheritance. We are still under the old covenant. A little Moses plus a little Jesus and all we have to do now is…XYZ.. And we are constantly trying to figure out what to do to overcome that which Jesus bound up and cast into hell that monumental day on Calvary. For me, it’s been the pompous who have made me doubt who He is and what He did.  Now that I am embracing it I want to shout from the rooftops:

Friend, take back your authority!

Daughter, take back you daughtership!

Take back the belief you can’t stand up and call stupid people, well… stupid! And don’t tell me, “Christians don’t talk like that.”


We, the kind-hearted and politically correct have every right stand up to spiritual bullying. And I am not talking about the tale as mentioned above; that story was just the catalyst for where I wanted to go with this.  I am weary of being told I am doing my relationship with Jesus wrong.

No one can assume they know where or how you are supposed to be doing a relationship with Jesus.  HE IS A PERSONAL JESUS. Furthermore, relationship is private. You can’t shove in and “Repent on someone’s behalf” or  insist “God told me that you are…” I propose the mere notion is nothing short of witchcraft.

Pause – and all the high and mighty “GASP!”

“I made a voodoo doll of you.  It is readily known you are drinking margaritas for breakfast, taking the Lord’s name in vain, and listening to Justin Timberlake…  you go to church with me every Sunday.” 

Oh, how generous of you! While you’re at it could you please get me baptized and pick me up a gallon of milk and a box of wine on your way home? Thanks, shoog!  

And we can all have a good laugh and holler “AMEN!” as we cruise through these 31 Days of stupid stuff said, but the truth is… we have to stop getting kicked around.  And we have to let Jesus be Jesus.

The words that are freaking us out and stressing us out are the key words that should roll right off of us as believers in the Son of Man.

And yes, I am talking to myself.

The other day when I put up the Joel Osteen post, I wrestled with God about it. I prayed and paced. The fact is I knew it was going to be a butt-kicking.

It was.

There were those who respectfully objected.

There were those who lost their ever loving minds.

But the story behind the story? That was the point. Why do we feel like we have to FIX every Christian? Why don’t we trust Jesus to show up and be fully Jesus and do what He is going to do? What are we afraid of?  And why are we afraid if we believe in Jesus? My friend who spent five years in federal prison credits Pastor Osteen with her acceptance of the Grace Salvation message; now she is a Methodist minister. Jesus stayed with her and He uses her in the restoration of the broken. Who are any of us to assume that Jesus isn’t fully cognizant of every hair on our heads? And I get on my face and pray before I post, I had the green light, and He will do what He will with it, and guess what? I trust Him to do so.  

The people that have hurt me the most in the work of religiosity are people I allowed to have more authority than they should have ever been permitted. Jesus died for me so that I could be free from the nonsense and intensely, nasty, high-church fallacies that any single person might be closer to Him or more in tune with Him than me.

These are lies.

Lies that manifest damage between me and MY GOD.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Jesus died so that I could be free from the nonsense & intensely, nasty, high-church fallacies” quote=”Jesus died so that I could be free from the nonsense & intensely, nasty, high-church fallacies”]

Still, I have coddled my low self-esteem and questioned my walk, and those factors kept me from saying, “NOPE!  You are wrong. Jesus loves me and is acutely aware of what I need and how I will get there. He and I are doing things that are none of your concern.”

Here is where we meet the droves of folks running from the church like it is on fire. We have allowed the pious make us believe that Jesus is something we must work for, rather than the someone who accomplished the work and invites us now as friends.

He offers us peace.

We choose to be humiliated.

He offers us freedom.

We choose to be condemned.

He offers us forgiveness.

We choose to rehash and repent and reinvent what WE HAVE TO DO to compensate.

He fixed it all.

The Blood worked.

Yet we shy behind our shortcomings, focus on our sin, dwell on our self… and allow those who have UTTERLY missed the point to reinforce the gobbledygook.

No doubt we will meet up with Sister Butthead when we knock on Heaven’s door. She accepted Jesus as her Savior, the Blood worked for her too. However, the biggest difference when we meet up? She will have missed out on that which I refuse to miss another day of.

Bought for me on Calvary.

This is the essence of my faith, the keys to the Kingdom and the fullness of my Jesus.


Just Grace.

Grace alone.

Grace gospel – free from my sins, right with Jesus, right about Jesus, right where I need to be. 

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami

Romans 3:20-24 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law, we become conscious of our sin.

21 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 

22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 

24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

You must read:  Three things every Christian Must Stop Saying 

 You might also like: Fresh Hate and Jesus Fish and Don’t Call Me Religious

Check out what I am reading….


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  1. Kimberly on October 20, 2016 at 6:06 am

    I think we all know more than a few pious church ladies. I try to remember that Jesus IS working through them and in them. I mean, some church folks are just downright MEAN but then I think, “Well, maybe that’s the best Jesus can do with what he has to work with.” In other words, he’s meeting them where they are. They need grace, too. It’s just difficult to not let their judgment get to you sometimes, isn’t it? I mean, have they never had a child throw a binky and hit someone in the face? Or dip it in the holy water? (Both true of my second son).

    • jami_amerine on October 20, 2016 at 6:07 am

      Lol! Those binks get dry. They need a lil’ dip …

  2. Edith on October 20, 2016 at 7:35 am

    I’ve been accused of being one of those judgemental types. I was horrified! The other person was reading all kinds of thoughts that I was completely NOT THINKING! Always remember that NOBODY is telepathic……

    • jami_amerine on October 20, 2016 at 7:40 am


  3. Tracy on October 20, 2016 at 9:57 am

    Oh. My. Goodness. Yes! I was just talking about this with friends and intended to write about a similar topic. So tired of people mirepresenting Jesus and calling themselves His followers.

  4. denise on October 20, 2016 at 10:33 am

    Hi, It’s me with the2 handicapped sons again. If my faith had only been stronger, they would have been healed or maybe there was sin in my life that needed addressing or maybe we just didn’t pray hard enough and one less spiritual suggestion was that we needed to give them vitamins and supplements to heal their muscular dystrophy. Maybe being quiet would be good for some folks! Glad I have Jesus!

    • jami_amerine on October 20, 2016 at 11:15 am

      Me too….

  5. Glenna McKelvie on October 20, 2016 at 10:41 am

    This is the BEST!!! Don’t judge a book by it’s cover– don’t judge the Church by The Church Lady! (Or Man)

  6. Dick S on October 20, 2016 at 12:18 pm

    Great post, jami. Your style, wit, and, most of all your transparent, solid faith in Jesus come shining through! Keep it coming!

    • jami_amerine on October 20, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      Thanks friend!

  7. Candy on October 20, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    Simply brilliant!

    • jami_amerine on October 20, 2016 at 4:14 pm


  8. sharon on October 20, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Love, love, love your posts!!

  9. Terry K. on October 21, 2016 at 6:38 am

    Once had a member of the church education committee tell me I couldn’t return to teaching Sunday School after a five year hiatus because “you know, not just anyone should teach our children. You need to have the right beliefs.” I came so close to saying, “You mean YOURS.” I have struggled with the pious and self-righteous in my mother’s church for over 30 years now, and have learned to attend services, ensure my kids go to Sunday School and ponder the sermon. Jesus, and what he has done for ME, are enough. Polite, KIND, fellowship is nice, but sometimes hard to find.

    • jami_amerine on October 21, 2016 at 6:39 am


  10. Kimberly Clark on October 21, 2016 at 8:45 am

    You nailed it. Again.

  11. ruth on November 4, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Love your posts. To read at least one every day.

    Love this post. Trust Jesus to do his thing with people. That is so hard and such a leap of faith.
    I prayed hard before I voted and now I have to trust there is a plan in place….that free-will thing keeps messing me up though…

    Thank you and keep it up.

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