Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You I guess this isn’t really a “Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying…” and more “stuff you gotta stop believing.” Since before the dawn of the Saturday Night Live Church Lady, probably since the very first church lady sat her pious polyester covered butt…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: You Don’t Look Sick
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: You Don’t Look Sick “You don’t look sick.” And you don’t look senseless, still, here we are. Yeah, that was harsh. I guess, in all fairness too tough as I assume most folks think, “You don’t look sick,” is a compliment. But, if you are chronically ill or suffering…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: What’s wrong with you?
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with me? Where should I start? What is wrong with me? Ok, you asked for it. I know my husband only means well. I know he wants me to be happy and at peace; that things are balanced with me. For the most…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: I Know EXACTLY How You Feel…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: I Know EXACTLY How You Feel… Nope. You don’t. And I am not just referring to the odd mentions, “I know exactly how you feel, losing your foster child, I took care of a transitional rescue Dalmatian. When they placed him in a forever home, I thought I would…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: You’re SOOO Religious
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: You’re SOOO Religious I loathe the statement, “You’re SOOO Religious!’ Ugh. Gag. No really, I’m not. I have been married to my husband for 24 years. I fell crazy hard for Justin the first time that he stepped out onto the front porch of his parents’ farmhouse. He was…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: No Offense But You Are
Stuff I wish you’d quit saying: No Offense But You Are… Truly, this is a precursor to an insult. The statement, “No offense but…” Was never followed by: “You’re gorgeous! So perfectly thin! And your kids are so well behaved!” Ever. I’d rather just be insulted up front. Just surprise me with, “you’re old to…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: I Hate Joel Osteen
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying Day 13 “I Hate Joel Osteen” I had 15 requests in regards to Joel Osteen. Some were “I wish people would stop hating on Joel Osteen.” The rest were… uh, hating on Joel Osteen. I couldn’t stop thinking about this and I admit I had chicken scratched Joel Osteen…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: He Was Such a Good Christian…
Stuff I Wish You’d Stop Saying: He was Such a Good Christian Our two and four-year-old sons, the vandals, are a mischievous duo. But the younger of the two… heaven and earth. From toilets full of Captain Crunch and marshmallows to flooded laundry rooms, the boy is his own kind of trouble. If the four-year-old…
Dear Netflix, Stop Asking Me…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying… Dear Netflix, I originally was going to post an open letter to you about how much I hate when you stop my show and ask me, “Are you still watching this?” To be honest, I found it condescending. I am an adult. I’ll decide when I have mindlessly watched Parks…
Thank You Karl Becker: Reading Between the Lines
I went to bed at 7:30 last night. I couldn’t stand to look at one more Facebook brawl or Tweet. In spite of my bold blog snark… I hate confrontation. Political debates are my water boarding. But, at 1:00 am my husband came to bed and said, “I will never be able to sleep.” My…