Don’t See Me…

When our oldest daughter was a toddler, she had this special gift of going blind.  If she were to get in trouble, she would simply, shut her eyes.  In the midst of being reprimanded, she would peaceably close her eyes. Expressionless, she would take on a meditative stance.  It would make my husband crazy.

To add to the mayhem of parenting Maggie, if she were caught in the act of “badness” she would yelp, “Don’t see me!”  For example, I walked in and caught her coloring on the wall. She pointed her chubby pre-school finger at me and said, “Don’t see me!” And when that didn’t work, she closed her eyes and went to her “happy place.”

Strange.

The mystery of sight and perception in children is both humorous and alarming.  Of course, Maggie was way past Jean Piaget’s stage of Object Permanence, which would have taken place at about 9 months of age. Piaget, a Swiss psychologist, was responsible for Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development. The theory was based on the evidence that a baby develops in stages of understanding.  It stemmed from the belief that cognitive development was progressive.  That a child grows in their understanding of their world based on experience.  So if the child hides his head under a blanket, he thinks he has disappeared, even though you can still see the rest of him.  According to Piaget, experience would reveal to them that out of sight doesn’t mean non-existent.  Yes, away from peek-a-boo, Maggie, who was nearly three, was simply in denial.

It occurs to me, as silly as this seemed…  I am no different.

And I certainly am waaaay beyond the stage of development where I function in “out of sight out of mind.” Peek-a-boo makes no sense in a 44-year-old woman.

Still, I play. 

I close my eyes and meditate when I know I am sinning.  I pretend… I watch television or read, I don’t want to change.  I don’t want to hear the words: “Jami, this is wrong. You are made for more.”

With the voice of the Spirit drowned out sometimes, I get caught in the act.  And my reaction: “Don’t see me!”

My spirit’s eyes, my conscious, do not fall for my games. The eyes of my heart don’t want to ignore my God or my design. Changing the draw of my heart away from folly and greed is a greater feat than pretending all is well, as long as I don’t look.  I can stick my head under the couch, with my full bare bum sticking out like a silly baby, still, He sees me.    

I would like to believe that my behavior could not disprove the great mind and life work of Jean Piaget.

I would love to know that I would learn from experiences, that I would progress.

I would love to see with fresh eyes, that to stay in the dark, to embrace the nonsense of closing my eyes to the truth, written on my soul… written in the Redeemers blood, would be to live a stagnant, immature, and life-draining existence.

He sees me.

He knows me.

He discerns my tricks.

He recognizes the game.

Still… He adores me.

Evermore the reason to turn from that which I was made to rise above.

And so I pray, “Give me Your eyes Lord. Pour out a fresh vision of what this sin looks like to You… You, who died to save me from my drivel. Pry open that which I intend to keep slammed shut. Remove the scales from my eyes and let me bask in the glory of your truth. Let me do so without shade or reprieve. Let only light attack my pupils and warm my eyelids.  Let only the light of Your holiness warm my face, tint my cheeks, and fill me up with the purest of truth.  See me.  And let me see You.”

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

1 Samuel 12:16
Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!

YOU MUST READ THE CHRISTIAN BURQA!

SO!  Here is a fun thing!  Speaking of our oldest Maggie!  Maggie is working for me as my producer!  In her first ever “PAGE” she tells all things, CURLY GIRL!  You can read it here! Or click on the image below!  Show her some LOVE!

You might also like:  An Open Letter to My Children: You’re Not that Great

Speaking of seeing things!!!!  Check out one of my most favorite bookstores!  iseeme.com We love to gift books from I see me!  It is so fun for a child to open a book and learn it is acutally about THEM!!!!