What will that look like?

I just saw a commercial for General Mills, they are removing all artificial colors and flavors from their cereals.

What will that look like?

general mills

Trix do not occur naturally.  If they are void of artificial color and fruit flavor, won’t that make them the same material as the box?

And that won’t make them for kids. That will make them for packaging fragile things before mailing.

I can’t sleep, and I am pondering what things will soon look like.  Next week we will travel to Disney World, a gift from my dad… for 22 people. And yeah, I wonder what that will look like. My foot injury is bothering me, I have a lot of hair… hair that grows exponentially in Floridian climate, oh and there will be TWENTY-TWO OF US.

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Upon our return, we are moving back to our ranch. It is 25 miles away from where we live now.  Yes, I lived there before, but our return will look much different. We have three “new” children, and of the “old” batch, three children are going on to new things.

I wonder what that will look like. (14)

We are in the final stretch of the adoption of our young foster son. He’s wholly a part of our lives, he is our boy. Still when the papers are signed, what will that look like? Will we take a deep breath for the first time in two years? Or will it just be business as usual?


As I type this I am in a hotel in Utah where I came to attend the memorial of my uncle. I watched my cousins and aunt grieve and celebrate and grieve some more. I watched memories bubble to the surface and erupt in laughter… and tears. And I know that all of us wonder, what will it look like without Steve?

Like the General Mills cereal, nothing will ever be quite the same.  Similarly, without the color and flavor… how good can it be without this character that was so genuinely loved by so many?


And yet, the sun still comes up, things trudge on, and in the midst of wondering what things will look like, it becomes natural to evolve from wondering to knowing.

Much like Disney World with 22 people or a move from one home to the next there is a preparedness that comes from experience, and another that comes from experiencing the unknown.

We know my uncle will be remembered fondly. We know we will miss him. We know that words won’t adequately convey, and yet… they’ll have to do.  Although, we have no concrete proof, we believe we will see him again, that we will be reunited for an eternity. As much as I fully believe that and look forward to it… I wonder, what will that look like?

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”  John 17:3

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  1. Rebecca on May 2, 2016 at 5:31 am

    I am so sorry for the loss of your uncle. I remember when I was going through a season of my life when several people I loved were dying, my Pastor at church was preaching about “end times” and we were flat broke. FLAT BROKE. I’d just had my sixth child. People would say to me “life goes on” and I would think, “what are you talking about?? LIFE just ended!!” and for me, everything was certainly flavorless and colorless…. but life DOES go on for the living. Life WILL go on at your new-old home. It will be a new chapter. You will forge ahead and do bigger better things. You will inhale, exhale… you will put one foot in front of the other… I know it sounds hard right now because it is so much change all at one time. It is a sweet gift to be able to go with your family to Disney, and hey, if half your family are crazy lunatics just think of all the good writing material you will have?!
    Love ya’

    • jami_amerine on May 2, 2016 at 5:38 am


  2. Terry K. on May 2, 2016 at 5:51 am

    Yesterday marked three months since my husband’s death. The sun came up. I had three of my four children with me for most of the day. The chores got done. I cried off-and-on almost all day. My eight year-old asked over and over, “Mommy, are you okay?” My life plan is once again slowly coming together, but with a huge hole in it, because WE made that plan and now one of the two major players in that plan isn’t here anymore. As I look forward to my life over the next “however many” years, I just can’t see it. I have no idea what that might look like as one instead of as half of two. I guess we are allowed to imagine the future, but we never know. We just need to trust and to wait and see how God rolls it out for us. It is hard to imagine, but I am holding onto that trust with both hands at this point.
    Sorry to be such a “downer” but your title just struck me so hard this early morning. Thank you for your words, Jami. Without intention, or even knowing it, you are helping me to heal.

    • jami_amerine on May 2, 2016 at 5:54 am

      Oh Terry… Bless you. You are in my prayers. ❤️

  3. Tammy on May 2, 2016 at 9:29 am

    It was so good to run into you the other day. I really find it refreshing to not see you for a year but to be able to run into you and visit like no time has gone by!

    • jami_amerine on May 2, 2016 at 9:30 am

      It was good to see you too!! ❤️

  4. Glenna McKelvie on May 2, 2016 at 12:11 pm

    I know Uncle Steve’s death is not about “me”… But I will miss him!

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