The Ax Murderer’s Diet: Result Just Weird and Kind of Creepy
The Ax Murderer’s Diet: Result Just Weird and Kind of Creepy Oh, come on, like you aren’t willing to try anything? You’ve tried other ridiculous diets, right? We spend our nickels and dimes on things that we hope to perfect us. The myriad of products I have in my bathroom is a crime against my…
The Offense of No Offense But….
The statement “no offense, but…” is always followed by an offense. Always. It’s offensive. And I can’t help it. I have thin skin. I get my feelings hurt and that is just how I roll. For years I have lamented this characteristic in myself. Why am I not more confident? What makes me shy from…
The True Cost of Bad Jesus
When our oldest son John was about 4 he choked to the point of unconsciousness. Truly, there is not a thing I can think of that is as terrifying as watching life leave your child. I knew he was choking. I knew his windpipe was obstructed. I also knew that the desperate thrusts of the…
How to Make the Best Chocolate Milk
When our oldest vandal son, Sam who is five asks for chocolate milk he is quite specific. He will stand by as I add the syrup to the milk. And he inevitably says, “Hey, is it chokit all da way frew yet?” And I say, “I haven’t shaken it yet.” His little body wiggles as…
Prostitute to Princess: A How to Guide
Prostitute to Princess: A How to Guide I will assume that most everyone has seen the movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts and Richard Geer. If you haven’t here is the gist: Prostitute meets rich boy, rich boy and prostitute fall in love, drama ensues, rich boy saves prostitute and they live happily ever after. …
The Perfect Portion: Too much, too Little, Just Enough
The Perfect Portion: Too much, too Little, Just Enough My husband, Justin has this portion thing that he does to our kids. He did it with the oldest 20 some odd years ago and he does it with our five and three-year-old now. If they ask for something, say some more chips on their plate,…
How to Get More Out of That Exquisite Cup
How to get more out of that exquisite cup… I have this cartoon character of a friend. Arlene is half my height and a bundle of spunk. She has a fabulous South African accent and an adorable adoration for tea parties. If you are invited to gather at her table you will be stunned by…
Christian Confidential: A LIfe in Jesus with No Bible
I don’t read my Bible. A slave to my disability, a word aptly spoken is a word better than one read. For those of you who know me, I am an author who does not read. For those of you who don’t know me, I am an author who does not read. In grade school,…
Do You Suffer From PMS: Pathetic Mom Syndrome?
I have PMS. But I don’t have a uterus. I don’t get cramps. That is not my excuse for acting like a crazy person. I had a bad case yesterday. The only good thing that went on was that I didn’t have to get ready for bed… cause I was still in my pajamas from…
A Very Important Message…
At a recent talk to young moms, where I hoped to deliver a very important message, I lost my mind and ran right off the rails. The talk is one I have done a dozen times. A mixture of laughter and tears, more laughter and then… I saw her; a young mom nursing a baby,…