Parenting
Dear Mean Mommy, Give Yourself a Break
I am a mean mommy. Did I not hope to be sweet, tender … joyful? Certainly, this isn’t true? Surely, that can’t be the core of who I am, my entire identity? – is this what I went into the business of motherhood to be labeled as? In my most uptight and fitful moments, with…
Read More“Natural” Childbirth: Anniversary Edition
I am old. This is what the new batch of our babies have to look forward to. They have an old mom. And she’s way behind the times. They will to go school with kids that were birthed into swimming pools… In their living rooms! Y’all can’t fathom, this will be a generation of children…
Read MoreDear New Year Mom: FEAR NOT 2017
I know. Me too. What is this elusive, invisible time line lurking days away, where all of the sudden I will be different than before the stroke of midnight? If time is of the essence, why am I marginally out of time? Very little makes sense in my world. While trying to make dinner I…
Read MoreMy Child Doesn’t Believe in God…
When our son Luke was 6 he asked if Santa was real. Luke was our 3rd child. His older brother and sister were already privy to the truth. So I knew he knew. I did the little bit about the real Saint Nick and why we do what we do. Yada. Yada. Yada. And Luke,…
Read MoreThe Evolution of Chill
I am neither the best mom nor am I the worst. We don’t have a perfect family… but I think we are getting by just fine. I am pretty chill. This is a miracle. For a long time, family members were suspicious that I was going to be my Grandma Jean incarnate. And Grandma Jean…
Read MoreThe #1 Gift I Refuse to Give My Children for Christmas
The #1 Gift I Refuse to Give My Children for Christmas It’s starting. The commercials are legend. Somewhere, someone is concocting the next Christmas lampoon of how one boy and his loyal dog must SAVE CHRISTMAS. Some evil mastermind wants to steal the joy. Maybe he wants to kill all the reindeer. Could he be…
Read MoreThe Breast Feeding Offense…
I was recently asked my opinion on openly breastfeeding in public. It fascinates me this is an issue with the current fashion trends. I am actually surprised anyone could take offense to a baby being nourished in the mall when a half-naked 15-year-old is standing in line at the cookie factory. I am no more…
Read MoreDear Exhausted Momma,
Somewhere in the fog, I knew I was snoring. Somewhere in the mercy of the unconscious, I knew it was not appropriate. Somewhere in the bliss of desperately welcomed sleep, my mind argued with my body to stop it. My body won. I felt warm hands on my cheeks and heard my name from an…
Read MoreDear Netflix, Stop Asking Me…
Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying… Dear Netflix, I originally was going to post an open letter to you about how much I hate when you stop my show and ask me, “Are you still watching this?” To be honest, I found it condescending. I am an adult. I’ll decide when I have mindlessly watched Parks…
Read MoreDear Moms – You are Freaking Amazing!
Sunday, our 14-year-old daughter Sophie, in spite of inconvenience beyond measure, finagled her way to church. I know, appalling behavior, don’t worry she’s grounded for a week. We live thirty minutes from our church, on a ranch. I was out of town, 3 hours away. My husband was home alone with Sophie, Sam and Charlie…
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