Posts Tagged ‘grace’
How to Reach Your Target Heart Rate without Getting Out of Bed
They say you cannot remember pain. I say… they have never torn their calf muscle and plantar fasciitis. I still have nightmares about it. I liken it to a Charlie-horse that gave way. Or to a gunshot wound. I remember the song playing: Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leopard. I remember the choreography,…
Read MoreHow to Reach Your Target Heart Rate without Getting Out of Bed
They say you cannot remember pain. I say… they have never torn their calf muscle and plantar fasciitis. I still have nightmares about it. I liken it to a Charlie-horse that gave way. Or to a gunshot wound. I remember the song playing: Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leopard. I remember the choreography,…
Read MoreBreaking Free in the Midst of Chaos
I just bathed the vandals, our 5 and 3-year-old sons. Actually, it was a shower. This is the most effective way to clean them. I strip them down; I put on my rubber goulashes and start the water. It’s going down. The insanity never ceases to amaze me. These same two little boys, given the…
Read MoreThe Ax Murderer’s Diet: Result Just Weird and Kind of Creepy
The Ax Murderer’s Diet: Result Just Weird and Kind of Creepy Oh, come on, like you aren’t willing to try anything? You’ve tried other ridiculous diets, right? We spend our nickels and dimes on things that we hope to perfect us. The myriad of products I have in my bathroom is a crime against my…
Read MoreThe Offense of No Offense But….
The statement “no offense, but…” is always followed by an offense. Always. It’s offensive. And I can’t help it. I have thin skin. I get my feelings hurt and that is just how I roll. For years I have lamented this characteristic in myself. Why am I not more confident? What makes me shy from…
Read MoreThe True Cost of Bad Jesus
When our oldest son John was about 4 he choked to the point of unconsciousness. Truly, there is not a thing I can think of that is as terrifying as watching life leave your child. I knew he was choking. I knew his windpipe was obstructed. I also knew that the desperate thrusts of the…
Read MoreHow to Make the Best Chocolate Milk
When our oldest vandal son, Sam who is five asks for chocolate milk he is quite specific. He will stand by as I add the syrup to the milk. And he inevitably says, “Hey, is it chokit all da way frew yet?” And I say, “I haven’t shaken it yet.” His little body wiggles as…
Read MoreProstitute to Princess: A How to Guide
Prostitute to Princess: A How to Guide I will assume that most everyone has seen the movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts and Richard Geer. If you haven’t here is the gist: Prostitute meets rich boy, rich boy and prostitute fall in love, drama ensues, rich boy saves prostitute and they live happily ever after. …
Read MoreThe Perfect Portion: Too much, too Little, Just Enough
The Perfect Portion: Too much, too Little, Just Enough My husband, Justin has this portion thing that he does to our kids. He did it with the oldest 20 some odd years ago and he does it with our five and three-year-old now. If they ask for something, say some more chips on their plate,…
Read MoreSalvation of a Mom…
The salvation of a mom is harder for a mother to embody. You see, tonight my soul is spread seven ways; serving Pizza and beer at a high-end joint downtown. It’s on a date that’s not a date but might be a date at a later date if it weren’t for all the history of…
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