Posts Tagged ‘mom life’
My Kid is a Jerk – But I am a Good Mom
Mom life. I have paced and stewed and cried and thrown up. But after a hot shower, a glass of wine, 4 gluten-free cake pops, and half a Xanax I am prepared to go there. Let’s do this. I love being a mom… 72.3% of the time it’s a good gig. I am a yeller,…
Read MoreA Day in the Life of Mom – the Whole Truth
No one would believe me, mom-life, is not a joke. “So, what did you do today?” He asked with such minimalism. Physically I couldn’t keep up with my dear husband. Once, in an effort to gain his attention to break for lunch, two of his employees form tackled him. He moves like he is trying…
Read MoreTo Sophie on her 14th Birthday…
Dear Sophia Rose, One year ago today, you woke up looking like you were headed to audition for a Monistat commercial. I couldn’t tell you then what I can tell you today. Today, you are fourteen. Fourteen will be easier than thirteen. Thirteen is an unwelcoming number. It is the dawning of a new age.…
Read MoreThe 8 Rules of Perfected Parenting
Recently I had an opportunity to spend the day with our four-year-old son, Sam. Sam is currently #5 out of seven kids. He needed some time with just me. Sam is the oldest of the “new litter.” The old litter consists of our four biological children. Sam and his soon to be adopted little brother,…
Read MoreThe Third Person Point of View
Our four-year-old son, leader of the vandals, Sam has been referring to himself in the third person. Furthermore, he calls himself “Sammy.” Y’all, no one calls him Sammy but himself. “Sammy wants to go outside.” “Sammy doesn’t like dat kind of cheese.” “Sammy wants to get naked and eat cake.” I find this odd. And…
Read MoreBoys to Men: when stuff falls off that was supposed to stay on…
Boys to Men: when stuff falls off that was supposed to stay on… So my son just turned 18. He is my man-baby. Boys turning into men. Sigh. I have two man-babies. But now, one is officially a man; the other one is still just 16. But the sixteen-year-old can buy his own cigarettes because…
Read MoreWorld’s Bestest Mom
I wish I was a better mother. Truly. I don’t say this so you’ll say…”Oh, you’re so great.” In so many ways I am just not that grand. For starters, I am a yeller. One time, in a counseling session (whatever if you don’t go to counseling bravo for you and yours) a kid said,…
Read MoreDear Donald and Hillary,
Here is the deal… I don’t really care for either of you. Furthermore, I don’t really care… this is a shame. I used to care. When Bill was elected I cried myself to sleep. I vowed to never have children and I thought that we would soon fall off the planet. He reminded me of…
Read MoreSufficiently Sweet
A certain two-year-old vandal that resides with me is a great sleeper… Usually. It is not really fair to accuse him of being otherwise. He is a good sleeper. For some reason, our society continues to terrorize us with daylight savings time. So, this two-year-old is wide awake at 4:00 am – which my body…
Read MoreThe Great Gift of Giving Up
The greatest gift I think I have ever received was the gift of giving up. I recall, we had hit a roadblock. Not our first, and certainly not our last. Moreover, it does not matter what. Kids, money, work, school, medical, foster care… whatever. Today, my husband Justin and I sat before a stack of…
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